|Happy on the way to her classroom!|
A new environment, new kids surrounding her, a new teacher telling her what to do, new rules and expectations and routines, lots of new words and ways of doing things...not to mention doing it all without Mommy or Daddy there. For someone who's understandably still struggling with abandonment, attachment, and self-regulation issues, no wonder today was hard.
I've said it before, but I think it's worth repeating. Johanna's meltdowns are not "normal" 4-year-old tantrums. We know what those look like...Jonas has them! He gets upset or mad about something in particular, cries and yells for a few minutes, apologizes and is able to talk about how to handle things better next time, and he's over it.
|You won't see this picture on Instagram |
(she didn't know I took it either).
Breaks my heart, but I think it's
important to show all sides of adoption.
The good thing is, when the meltdown is done, it's truly done. Johanna is sitting on the ground beside me as I write this, happily putting together puzzles. This afternoon, she was singing "Let it Go" and dancing to "Ghostbusters" with Jonas. She took a nap and ate a good dinner. She's laughing and smiling, and we just had a good conversation about what happened earlier today and how she was feeling.
We've already got a plan in place for me to be sure to hold her on the way out of school tomorrow (that's what she said she needed to feel better). I think school will get easier for her each day, and I'm hoping Johanna will eventually make some good friends. We did lots of extra cuddles tonight before bed and sang our made-up "family" song (her request) over and over. I knew today would be hard, but I also know Johanna will be okay. Happy first day of school, everyone!